Unmitigated Discipline: The Story That Changed My Thinking

A good friend of mine was diagnosed with a chronic disease when he was a boy. The doctors told him and his parents that he could expect to live a sick life, have multiple extended hospital stays each year, and, in all likelihood, die young. How devastating it must have been for his mother to hear these words and come to terms with this life for her son.

One of the most inspiring things I've ever come across is how this woman reacted with anything but devastation. They drove home, and after pulling into the driveway and putting the car in park, she turned around, looked at her boy, and said: "NO. This will not be your life." From that day forward, she committed to doing everything in her power to give her son the best life she possibly could.

After much trial and error, the woman and her son found a way to manage the disease without the expensive medication most people use to manage it. Hospital stays disappeared. Doctors are still astounded by the results of this "radical" approach.

At the time of his diagnosis, my friend was eleven years old. Because of the decision made — first by his mom, then by him — he didn't get to live the same life as his peers. He didn't get to eat any of the foods they could, and seemingly everything about his day revolved around the holistic management of this disease. But over time, this became his superpower. What started out as an extremely difficult and radical shift in his life is now the catalyst to freedom for him as an adult.

Today, the disease in my friend is just as real as it was twenty-five years ago. His diet and lifestyle, to the average person, are still just as radical as they were when he was eleven years old. And the decision to not allow this disease to define his life is ever present.

The Alternative Is Hardly Less Painful

The reality is, many people have found themselves in similar, extremely challenging situations and not made the same decision as my friend. It was a very hard decision to make, and it continues to be difficult in a lot of ways for him — but the alternative is hardly less painful. The decision to fight, and the refusal to allow a disease to define his life, has changed everything for him. It required a commitment to a life of unmitigated discipline.

Most people shy away from this type of commitment, even in the face of life-threatening illness. The pain of discipline often scares people more than the pain of illness, hardship, or addiction. But discipline is often the only path to freedom. The measure of your willingness to hold the line for what it is you want to become is the measure of how free you will be from the things that hold you back.

After twenty-five years, my friend will tell you that while he's still faced with the decision every day to live this lifestyle, it has gotten exponentially easier with time. He now experiences the fruit of two decades of discipline — a healthy body, a wife and kids, and a great outlook on the future. His unmitigated life of discipline has led to boundless possibilities for this once sick and seemingly hopeless eleven-year-old boy. His decision to embrace discipline led directly to his freedom. Jocko Willink is right: discipline equals freedom.

Freedom Doesn't Come From the Fence

But this freedom doesn't come when you live on the fence, and it isn't found through doing whatever you want. Ironically, the deepest sense of freedom comes when you are in control of your wants and desires, and can discern, on a moment-to-moment basis, the greatest good for yourself — not just now, but in the long term. The deepest sense of freedom comes when you choose discipline over an extended period of time.

Making the decision to eliminate the things in your life that are detrimental, or that keep you from being great, is critical to becoming Fully Available. It's often not glamorous. On the contrary, it's usually boring and uncomfortable. But what I love most about discipline is that it truly is your decision. No one else can take it away from you, and it doesn't cost any time or money. If you allow the space for discipline in your life and consistently make the decision to live a disciplined life, freedom will follow. You will have eliminated the barriers to success, happiness, and fulfillment, and will enjoy much more often the sense of being Fully Available. Everything in your life will improve where discipline increases.